TRISTRAM SHANDY 141
that he could draw up an argument in his sermon or
a hole in his breeches, as steadily on the one as in the
other; that brisk trotting and slow argumentation, like
wit and judgment, were two incompatible movements;
but that upon his steed he could unite and reconcile
everything; he could compose his sermon; he could
compose his cough; and, in case nature gave a call
that way, he could likewise compose himself to sleep.
Yorick was this parson's name, and, what is very
remarkable in it (as appears from a most ancient account
of the family, wrote upon strong vellum, and now in
perfect preservation), it had been exactly so spelt for
near — I was within an ace of saying nine hundred
years — but I would not shake my credit in telling an
improbable truth, however indisputable in itself; and
therefore I shall content myself with only saying it had
been exactly so spelt, without the least variation or
transposition of a single letter, for I do not know how
long; which is more than I would venture to say of one
half of the best surnames in the kingdom; which, in
a course of years, have generally undergone as many
chops and changes as their owners. Has this been owing
to the pride, or to the shame of the respective pro-
prietors? In honest truth, I think, sometimes to the
one, and sometimes to the other, just as the temptation
has wrought. But a villainous affair it is, and will one
day so blend and confound us altogether that no one
shall be able to stand up and swear that his own great
grandfather was the man who did either this or that.
This evil had been sufficiently fenced against by the